Love Will Find A Way
by mydoctortennant
Summary: I was watching Lion King: Simba's Pride okay, and this fic kinda sparked. [Reela, Season 12]
1. Prologue

**Morning/Afternoon/Evening, Okay, so I was watching Lion King: Simba's Pride and when singing along to Love Will Find a Way with my friend, he being Kovu, I thought of this, I couldn't help myself, 13.17 was shown on Monday so I was in a huge Reela mood, still am, very much so. I hope you like it, I do have some sort of plan for this, so yeah ******

**Prologue**

Ray shut the door to the apartment to find it dark, and his roommate curled up on the couch, and a familiar Disney film on the TV screen.

"Yo, Neela!" he called out, she immediately jerked up, as if she hadn't really been expecting him for a few hours, and truth be known she hadn't.

"I thought you had a gig?" she questioned searching for the remote to hit the stop button.

"I did, but it got cancelled. And don't stop on my account, Lion King deserves to be watched once in a while." Neela gawped at him, he recognised it?

"Simba's Pride, actually, I watch Lion King before. How did you-"

"Doesn't matter." He smiled, _that,_ smile, and made his way to the couch. "Come on Roomie, hit play." He slumped down next to her, in his usual spot, grabbing at the remote as she refused to co-operate. "Hey, I'll admit to reducing myself to Disney, not normally willingly, but it's been a long day, and I don't have the energy to be hit constantly because you're scared of The Shining…" Neela glared at him through the dark, as he openly smirked at her freaked out-ness after he had made her watch it. She had made him stay up with her until she'd fallen to sleep.

"Not funny." Neela said deadpan, settling down and turned her attention back to the TV. Random Savannah animals were singing about how Kovu was some sort of traitor when he wasn't. She would have happily sung along, if she were alone.

They settled into the couch together, much like when he had recorded her favourite program, Celebrity Poker, and they had watched it together, her head on his shoulder. After Kovu had been chased away, it came to the more romantic piece of the film, after Upendi… Love Will Find A Way.

Neela started humming to the music as it began again, tears in her eyes. _In a perfect world, __one we've never known, We would never need to face the world alone._ She sang along in her head, little to her knowledge the words began to escape her lips.

"They can have the world; We'll create our own…"

Ray smiled to himself; he thought about it, a forbidden love, that's what Ciara and Kovu had, a lot like himself. He shouldn't love Neela, but he did. _If only we could, I could have you, and you would never have married Michael Roomie._

"I may not be brave or strong or smart, but somewhere in my secret heart." _You are the bravest, strongest and smartest woman I have ever met! I don't know anyone else who would be able to cope if there husband left them after a week of marriage for war. And you certainly outsmart me!_

As the chorus kicked in, they both found them self thinking the same damned thing.

'_**I know, love will find a way, **_

_**Anywhere I go, I'm home, **_

_**If you are there beside me. **_

_**Like dark turning into day, **_

_**Somehow we'll come through, **_

_**Now that I've found you, **_

_**Love will find a way.'**_

_I hope one day, that we do find a way. I'm not at home unless I'm here, and as long as he/she is here with me, I will always be complete. We will get through this darkness, without Michael here and maybe one day, because I know that I have her/him, and I know our love will find a way._

Ray had to give in, he had seen this film more than once, and he was pretty sure he had the soundtrack somewhere, for some unknown reason. "I was so afraid, now I realize, love is never wrong, and so it never dies…" he started tossing as Neela had stopped, Ciara finishing her section. He looked towards her; she looked slightly stunned that he knew the words, who could blame her, Rocker come Doctor, who was singing along to Disney, quite unheard of. She smiled inside, it really was adorable, a big very masculine guy was singing Disney, what wasn't there to like?

Neela bit down hard on the inside of her lip, she shouldn't be thinking that he, Ray Barnett, was right. Maybe she had been afraid of what she was feeling for him, but love is never wrong, and she shouldn't try and hide it. It would never go away.

Ray continued what he had started; finishing Kovu's solo, before Neela was willing to join in for the duet of the song. "There's a perfect world, shining in your eyes."

_**And if only they could feel it too**_

_**The happiness I feel with you**_

Ray never felt happier when he was in her presence, and Neela with him, even in the presence of Michael, she never felt like this. He never made her feel complete. She felt whole, she felt so undyingly happy when sat on the grotty old couch with her long suffering roommate, well, she was the long suffering roommate.

_**They'd know**_

_**Love will find a way**_

_**Anywhere we go**_

_**We're home**_

_**If we are there together**_

They were always here; in they're flat together these days. They had originally made the pact to work opposite shifts and never see each other, that had been blown out of the water, never had she really cared, but it was a way of pretending she did. She loved spending more time with him and him with her. She felt bad, pining after him, when her husband was fighting a war, but she couldn't help but feel slightly abandoned.

_**Like dark turning into day**_

_**Somehow we'll come through**_

_**Now that I've found you**_

_**Love will find a way**_

Now they had found each other, thee was nothing going to stop them, nothing in this life was going to stand in there way, Ray's groupies, Neela's husband, nobody at the ER, or anybody else they physically knew. There was no way singing the song was making them go mad, they meant it, and they knew the other meant it too.

_**I know love will find a way**_

How true it actually was. They both knew it, now. They had been facing each other since Ray had started to sing along. "I didn't know you had even seen this film."

"What can I say? I'm full of surprises." He unconsciously lifted his hand to her cheek, and she felt herself lean into it, loving the spark of his touch, she loved the feel of his skin on hers, and could only think of the feel of his lips on her own, a vision and hope that had crossed her mind many times.

She leant towards him, meaning what she was going in or, and he gladly met her half way. The soft graze of lips, short, loving, and expressively meaningful kiss. Full of more love than a 50 year marriage. They knew that was it.

Keeping their eyes closed once they had parted, she rested her forehead on his, breathing heavily. "Ray, I shouldn't be doing this." And no matter how much she wanted to let herself lose herself in him, she couldn't.

"No, but if it feels this right, you shouldn't deny yourself of it." He was pleading, sort of, he knew that, but he meant it. He had waited too long for this, and he wasn't going to stop it before it had even begun.

"But, Michael-"

"He's not around for you Neela. He left you." Immediately after he had said it, he wished he hadn't, she jerked away from him, and went to stand, but a firm hand on her was it stopped her from rising.

"Is that all this is to you? I'm here, and easy because my husband ran away to war, rather than spend his life with me, like he vowed he wanted to, 'til death!"

"That isn't what I meant! Neela please, listen to me."

"What makes you think I want to listen to you pathetic lies, Barnett! All you ever do is string along groupie after groupie, gig after gig, you never call, you never bother to learn there names!"

"I know yours," he argued pathetically. "Why would I not know the name of the woman I fell in love with two years ago?"

"What did you say?" she choked, finally resisting the urge to pull away.

"I said, that I love you." He let his hand and gaze fall, she was free to go, but her fawn form stayed firm where it was. Semi shocked at the secret that he had just revealed, not that it had been much of one but to hear him admit it was one hell of a shock.

"And love will find a way." He looked up at her, her penetrating eyes buried into his stunned face. His smile replaced his near tears frown and she leant towards him again.

"We'll come though, I found you Neela, standing in that god damned ER, no good ever comes there, apart from you. And I knew that I would try and find a way; let my love find a way." She smiled amorously at him, he closed the gap another few times, soft tender kisses were placed, nothing going to far.

He loved her far too much for that.


	2. Caught in the Act

**Hello, this is chapter one, I am writing both of my fics at one time, along with a songfic/reela and some other stuff as well, it's all a little mad. But I will try and update each quickly as possible, esp. now I'm on study leave; it gives me time to write man!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, if I didn't Reela dude!**

**Chapter One**

Ray and Neela rolled into the ER on time, unlike usual, smiling and laughing, making there way quickly to the Doctor's Lounge to drop off they're coats and grab they're lab coats.

"I bet you $40 that they got it together, at last." Jerry started.

"I meet that and raise you $10 that they slept together." Morris put in, standing behind the desk next to Jerry.

Frank stepped forward from where he had watched them enter and inputted a final, "I raise you $50 that she's pregnant and he declared his undying love for her, and they'll live happily ever after."

"You're on!" Morris agreed shaking on the final deals they had made. One of them was about to get very rich, or very poor.

"And I'd raise you all $100, that I'll fire your asses if you don't all get back to work!" Kerry Weaver wasn't often in the ER, but today was the day she had chosen to make her monthly appearance, the day she caught the gossip queens at work. "Now get to it! Morris your Diabetic in Exam Three needs insulin, now! Frank, page Kovac, we need him, Susan's called in sick. And Jerry, find something useful to do!"

As Weaver disappeared, Morris decided on inputting one final thing, as he noticed them walk back out of the Doctor's Lounge. "Roommates with Benefits." He then made his way to the leisure of Kerry Weaver to Exam Three.

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"What's going on?" Abby asked, pouring herself the mud they called coffee in the ER.

"What do you mean?" Neela asked innocently.

"You and Ray never come in at the same time, or if you ever do, you never come in smiling, or laughing, or without physically abusing him in some way, so what gives?" Abby was her best friend, and was awfully good at the whole advice thing, but she wasn't really ready to share this.

"Nothing, honest Abby, nothing is going on, we just had a night in watching Lion King, it was fun. That's it." Abby smiled disbelievingly at her friend.

"Yeah Neela, and I'm not pregnant!"

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Abby had kept watch for Ray to go into the Lounge at some point during his shift, he had been smiling all shine he had arrived, and constantly catching glimpses at Neela when he thought no one was looking, and Neela him. He had disappeared a good five minutes ago, and Abby hadn't looked away from the door, so she decided now was her chance to pounce.

"Okay, what gives?!" She asked, walking into the Lounge without a care who else heard.

"Abby!" came Neela's shocked reply as she straightened out her Lab coat, pushing her arms back into it properly.

"I knew it!" Abby declared at the top of her voice, pointing at them both. "I knew something was going on with you two! You know Jerry, Frank and Morris are gunna have a field day, they've got a wager on what happened with you two. So which is it? You get it together, sleep together or are you pregnant?"

Ray blinked,"I'm sorry?"

"You heard."

"She's not pregnant, and I don't think I am, unless there's something she's not telling me." Neela suppressed a laugh and hit Ray playfully in the abdomen. "That hurt Roomie, and don't hurt the baby, 'cause it will be your fault if something's wrong with it!"

"Funny Ray! Now tell me, what the hell is going on?!" Neela and Ray looked at each other, and then turned to Abby.

"Well you see…" "Abby I was gunna say…" They started at the same times, before laughing uneasily.

"I was going to tell you, but I couldn't find the right way to say anything." Neela finished.

"How about, 'Hey Abby, I slept with my best friend, co-worker and love of my life, but I want to keep it a secret but I'm really bad at it, because ever Frank, Morris and Jerry know.'"

"It's not exactly that Abby." Ray started in their defense.

"What am I meant to think? She," She pointed at her Britt Indian friend before starting back on Ray, "Always hates your guts, well pretends to, I know otherwise, I'm not stupid, so when you two come in at the same time, goofy grins on your faces and failing miserably to hide the looks you have been shooting each others way all day, what the hell am I suppose to think?!"

"I don't know Abby, but I promise you, it went nothing more than a few kisses on the couch after a bit of a sing-a-long to Lion King."

"And since when was Hakuna Matata, in anyway likely to make you fondle each other?"

"I never said Hakuna Matata, I didn't even say which song, and it was Simba's Pride anyways, Love Will Find A Way if you must know."

"That would explain a few things, it finally make you see what is right before yours, and everybody else's eyes. I had a patient the other day ask if you were getting a divorce because you were arguing like such a married couple!" Ray laughed lightly before realizing it probably wasn't for the best and clamped his mouth tightly shut.

"We're far from getting a divorce-" Neela started before she was once again cut off by Abby.

"You might not, but what about you and Michael? Surely you haven't forgotten about the man you married? Even if it was a mistake!"

"Abby!" Abby stopped and glared at her best friend, what she was saying was true, they all knew it. "Look, I know this isn't really right, but it's not something we planned,"

"Was your wedding?"

"No, that's the thing, I didn't think about it, not at the time, but now I have."

"Then tell Michael it's over before you hurt somebody!"

"I'm a big girl Abby."

"Then act like it!" Abby looked away, she didn't mean to shout, she didn't want the entire ER to hear what was being said, but it would get out soon if they weren't careful, like they weren't today. "I'm sorry, you guys deserve to be together, I've been waiting on this for a year, since you met, and defiantly since the Jumbomart," Ray scoffed at the incident before shutting up again. "But this isn't right Neela, not now, it would have been a few months ago, but you're married."

"You think we don't know that Abby?" Ray finally spoke up, quiet if anything. "Look, I know this is wrong, but it wasn't a choice we made, it just happened. I love her Abby, you know that, I'd never hurt her, not like Michael did."

"Ray, shut up! Michael married her because he loved her, no, he didn't do the right thing by going back to war, but he did right by himself." Abby knew she would do right by them, all of them, she didn't want for Neela to easily forget Michael, nor did she want her to forget the man she loved. She needed to make them see what they were currently doing was wrong; they needed to be honest to Michael, and more importantly to themselves.

"But not by me, I'm meant to be his wife, and you wonder why I finally act on my feelings."

"So that's it? That's all I am? You're lonely; need somebody to make you feel better about yourself? Is that it?" Ray asked dejectedly. _Oh Jesus!_ Abby thought quickly to herself, mentally slapping herself in the forehead with her palm.

"Ray… that's not what I meant and you know it." Neela turned to him, ignoring Abby's presence. _Right that's it, this is not ending now, not after a day! _Abby knew she had to act, and soon.

"Do I? Ho do I know once he comes back that you won't go running back to him." Abby coughed, somewhat deliberately.

"Look, no offence Ray, but are you stupid? I know you're a musician, but your also a Doctor, so I assume there is some brains up there," He went to interject, defend himself, but Abby just cut him off again, "Look, she loves you right, she loved Michael, she did, but she's only ever been in love with one Doctor, and she won't leave you for anyone, not now she's finally seen sense."

Abby smiled at him sympathetically, she knew he loved her, she had known, well it had been confirmed when he asked her to move in with him. He had been too keen on the idea not to have some interest.

"I'm glad you think that Abby, but seriously, nothing more will happen, not until she has ended it with Michael, I'm not that shallow. Sure, I never even met the guy before she married him, I don't even know the guy, but he must be pretty honourable to be defending his country, I can see that, but he still abandoned her." Ray was speaking calmly, having grabbed Neela's hand, their fingers interlocking as if it were routine.

"Good, because Michael's a good man, and an even greater Doctor. I'm glad you're doing the honourable thing Ray, and you Neela, just please, lay it off a little, it's kinda obvious, you're gunna get Morris on your back." Abby smiled once again, and spoke one final time before leaving, "Please, continue with whatever it was, and I'll go tell Morris something about Neela getting a package from Michael, and you screwing some groupie."

Ray went to interject again, but then realized that it was probably believable. He had opened his mouth to speak, but soon closed it again when Abby shut the door.

"That could have been a lot worse." Neela reasoned, still looking after Abby at the closed Lounge door.

"Yeah, I guess it really could have."

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter; I had quite a bit of fun writing it. Hopefully more to come in the next few days. And please, review, I like to know how I can improve.**


	3. Understanding

**Chapter Two, woop, took me a while but I've had so many ideas I had to get down XD I hope you like it.**

**Chapter Two**

"Mrs. and Mr. Gallant!" Neela greeted as they exited the lift in the ER.

"Mom and Pop! What have we told you?" Neela smiled, but she felt so awkward on the inside, they made her feel so welcome, and she really didn't deserve it. "This is Dr. Barnett…" Neela trailed off looking over her shoulder, he had been there just now, so where was he now?

Looking a few seconds longer, she saw the back of him turning into Exam Two. "Well, he was here; it's so nice to see you again!" Her cheeks flushed red quickly, why had he disappeared like that?

The three of them started chatting, as Neela made her way to grab her coat, and finally make her way out into the bitter outside that was Chicago. Making their way to Ike's for drinks.

888

Ray approached the Admit Desk, and started to reel off something about a patient to Morris. He had been in a good mood until Neela had mentioned Michael's parents would be visiting.

"So you get a chance to meet the Gallants?" He asked 'innocently'.

"No, I must've missed them." Ray replied, knowing fully well exactly where they were at that moment in time.

"Yeah, it's probably better that way." Morris turned and walked to the pull down board, dropping the chart in his hand to the desk. "It would've been weird."

Ray pulled a new chart out of the rack, and looked quizzically at Morris. "Why's that?"

"Why'd you think? Hey, to tell you the truth, I don't know how you do it my man!" What exactly was Morris implying about him and Neela? Ray raised his brow and looked at Morris, _Well?_

"What?" Ray was slightly confused, he knew from what Abby had told them what Morris thought, but it wasn't true. Morris had started to walk away towards Frank, who had been busying himself at the computer. "Every girl I've slept with won't give me the time of day!"

"Either one of them, I'm shocked!" Frank inputted, Ray held back a laugh, purely because he didn't really want to at that particular moment, with Morris implying what he was.

"Oh, I bet it was really freaky being at her wedding!" Morris was approaching Ray again, he had something in his hand, he looked slightly menacing, waving it around.

"Dude, what are you talking about?" Ray turned and faced Morris square on, Morris was positively shitting himself, Ray honestly wasn't that scary, but nobody seemed to mess with him. Morris was quite short in comparison to Ray though, so maybe that was it, the little ginger guy, versus the tall brunette guy… place your bets!

"You know, uh, you and, uh, Neela. The whole 'Roommates with Benefits' thing." _Okay, Morris you crossed the line!_ Ray advanced on Morris, trying his hardest not to pin the same leprechaun like man against the Admit Desk.

"You think I slept with Neela?" he asked, occupying his punching hand with a chart.

"You didn't?"

"No." Ray voice was dangerously quiet, for somebody being accused of making somebody commit adultery.

"Huh!" Morris started to turn away, defeated, "I just assumed."

"Everybody did." Frank inputted, again, very useful.

"Everybody did?" So they thought he was oblivious to what the Admit Clerks and Morris had been thinking and had placed bets on, but they weren't to know he knew. He wouldn't give them the inner satisfaction by tell them as such either.

"Pretty much, but hey don't sweat it! It's just a rumour!" _A __Rumour__ my ass, you people tend to pull out the facts, even if they are a little skewed._ Ray walked off to treat the patient who's chart he had picked up from the rack during Morris' little escapade. This was not good news, not really, and it would certainly be something he would tell Neela about later, when the Gallant's weren't there.

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"So how's the house hunting coming along Neela?"

"A complete stand still, when Michael left, we had been looking at this gorgeous apartment, but that's where he told me he 'had' to go back, and I haven't had the heart to go looking since." Neela was honest, okay it was something they probably didn't want to hear, but right now, what would it hurt? She was going to be brutally honest with Mrs. Gallant later anyway; she just needed to talk to her alone.

"I see," Dr. Gallant inputted, "Well, you can't get in the way of a soldier and his duty." _Don't I just know it? _ Mrs. Gallant found herself thinking. Little did anybody know, but the Gallant's were not the happily married couple they seemed to be, and on the brink of divorce themselves.

"I wish I could," Neela started, she felt too strongly about the subject just to leave it at that, "Myself and Michael had only been newly married when he left me, again. I'm finding it hard to cope without him. I mean why marry somebody just to run away again."

"Why? Because he loves you Neela, honey." Mrs. Gallant smiled, this girl had already had enough of the lifestyle she had had for the last god knows how many years, and the only advice she wanted to give was 'Run, run far away and never return'

"Love me he might, but why would you go to a place you know you may never return from if you loved somebody as much as he claims to love me?" Neela knew she should shut her mouth, and wait for her and Mrs. Gallant to be alone, but there was something sparking her on.

"Because he wants to protect you. Protect and help the people who need him." Dr. Gallant was obviously going to side with his son; he had led the same life, but different fights.

"I need him!" Neela bit back; as soon as the words had let her lips she regretted them. Not because she had shouted, not because she was losing her temper, but because in brutal truth she didn't need him, she needed Ray, and Ray was going to be her rock, the person she depended on, the person who could protect her for eternity and she knew he would. He wouldn't run of to war, he wasn't the running kind.

888

Back at their apartment Ray sat on the couch after along, never ending, shift, with a beer in his hand. He waited patiently for the return of Neela, and hopefully without the Gallant's. Even so, if she did bring them, he would act on his best behavior, now smiling at Neela when he thought they weren't looking, being civil and nice and 'Rock Star' like. Being him, without the puppy eyes and pouring over the woman he loved.

He flicked on the TV and grabbed the remote, channel hopping until he came across something, anything he could to take his mind off her. Celebrity Poker was on, that he bypassed straight away, if anything that would just make him think of her more, the times they had sat and watched it in companionable silence, doing nothing with their time.

He came across some random horror film, something he would normally do anything to watch, but now, now he bypassed it because all he could think about was how Neela would react, when it scared her hiding behind his shoulder burying her head between it and the couch.

He finally settled for the News, and he just hoped and prayed for nothing about Iraq to be on their, like it normally was.

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Neela sat on a bench outside of Ike's, clearing her head, trying her best to clear her thoughts. She didn't think she would be able to cope with Dr. Gallant, he was driving her mad, and all she wanted to do was say: "I can't do this anymore! I want a divorce" but she knew she couldn't.

She looked around as she heard somebody stop beside her, seeing Mrs. Gallant stood next to her to pushed herself over on the bench to allow her to sit down. Taking the silent invitation she lowered herself to the bench and stared across the street.

"I'm on your side in this Neela." She said softly, looking to Neela for a response. Neela's head jerked up in return and she continued, "We might seem like we have the prefect life. We don't. I just put up with it a lot longer than you have. I didn't want to. After 6 months I had had enough, but I loved him, and he made it seem to me like I had to stay. All I'm saying Neela, is if your not happy, don't waste your life away okay. Tell him now, and then you and Dr. Barnett, was it, can move on with your lives, knowing that you'll be happy."

Neela blinked, "I'm sorry?" _How did Mrs. Gallant know about Ray? Our little situation? Okay yeah she met him at mine and Michael's wedding, but how the hell? Michael?_

"It is clear to me Neela, I've seen the two of you together a few times, and at your wedding, the way he looked at you, how hurt he seemed to be, it was clearer back then how he felt about you, how he feels, and I know deep down you must feel the same way, that's why you haven't left him, left that apartment."

"So you're okay with that?" Neela was surprised to say the least at how easily she had made it for Mrs. Gallant to know that. How did she know that? Was Neela that easy to read?

"Honey, I wish I had the courage to be as honest as you have, yes you bottle it up but just now? Even he can see you've had enough and it's taken him a very long time to notice how unhappy I am." Neela looked away to the floor, tears building up, but not falling, she refused to let them.

"It's so hard, I know I loved Michael, but it was so rushed, thinking back on it now, it was too fast, a day? Did I really even think about it? I don't even know him, he doesn't know me. Ray is the one who I spend my nights with, the person I see everyday before I go to bed, when I get up in the morning and put the coffee on. He eats all the cereals, he's the one I pick up after, he's the one I treat like he's my husband, mentally, and I like it. I've never done that for Michael, but I never will. I can't do this anymore. I've been married to him six months and seen him for all of four weeks. It's not enough, and I can't do this. I can't build a marriage on an image in my head, on a thought on a dream. It doesn't, or isn't meant to work like that. We rushed into it, and we shouldn't have.

"I love Michael, I do, but I don't think I was ever _in love_ with him. Ray has always been there for me, always. Since I've known him. Okay he was a bit of a tosser at first, but when I got to know him, and I mean really get to know him, I got to see the sensitive, caring doctor. We're complete opposites, but we're like Peanut Butter and Jelly, we go together, despite our differences."

During her speech tears had started to fall down her cheeks and when she finished Mrs. Gallant reached out and put her arm around her shoulders.

"Honey, you don't have to explain yourself to me, but you may have to, to Michael. Ignore his father, I'll sort him out, just make sure you tell Michael before it's too late."

_Before it's too late_? What did that mean? Before he got himself blown up? Before he got himself shot? Before he came back only to find her happily shacked up with Ray still? Either way she knew his mother was right.

"I need to go, give my regards to Dr. Gallant, but I don't think I can cope with any more of his praising his son for leaving me." Neela stood and brushed herself off smiling at her mother-in-law.

"He doesn't mean to, he's just a little inconsiderate and overly proud, he's a soldier, what do you expect, no feelings for those around them." Michael's mother stood and hugged Neela, "Do what's right by you, don't stop yourself from living to wait for him, it's not worth it in the end no matter what they say."

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Ray turned at the key in the lock, seeing Neela before him, looking a little worse for wear.

"Are you okay?" He asked, standing from the sofa and making his way over to her, taking her coat and hanging it on the hook, he brought her into a hug. Tight in his embrace she began to cry again, which only made him bring her in closer to him. "Neela what's wrong?"

"I spoke to Michael's Mum. She was so understanding, she was so nice, too nice. I don't deserve that, not from her." She had pulled away whilst she spoke to look at Ray. "His father was a complete wanker, obviously he doesn't get it. They're getting a divorce, because she's had enough. She had had enough in a sorter period than me, but put up with it a hell of a lot longer. I was talking to her outside of Ike's, a one-on-one and she told me to follow my heart to you."

"She actually said that?" Ray asked, a small smile on his lips.

"Well, she said more than that, said something about 'Your Dr. Barnett' and how I seemed reluctant to move out." She laughed a little through her tears, "That's why I don't understand it, she openly told me that leaving my husband for love was a good thing to do. She told me to tell Michael sooner rather than later. So I came home. I have to send that letter tonight. I'll talk to a lawyer when I next can, I'm on days all this week, I'm not sure when I'm next free during office hours."

"Neela, slow down okay? One step at a time. And please remember to breathe." Ray laughed, running his thumb over her cheek. "Write that letter, send it and wait for a reply before you do anything else okay?" He reasoned, he didn't want her to go through all this alone or so fast, not for him anyway.

"You're right, of course you're right. It's just all so much, and my mind is brimming and over running if I was a car I'd be over heated, or some bullshit." Ray laughed again leading her to the couch grabbing up his notebook from the coffee table which he wrote his songs in, handing it to her with a pen.

"Write down a list of the things you want to say in the letter, and then you can plan it out, and write what you want to the point, and not ramble like you normally do." He smiled, and left her in her seat to make her a cup of tea. She would need all the soothing she could get.

888

_Dear Michael,_

_I hope this finds you well. I hope you can understand what I am going to tell you now in this letter, as it has been plaguing me for months now and I can not rest until I do this._

_Married life has not been how I have expected it. You must understand that when I said 'I Do' I was planning on seeing my husband more than his handwriting. When you told me you had to go back, I couldn't understand why, I didn't understand why you were leaving me after such a short amount of time. I thought I had done something wrong but after talking to your parents I have come to realize there is nothing with me, it is you. You are thousands of miles away and there is nothing I can do to stop that, but I can't have a marriage with a few pieces of paper and some ink._

_Please try hard to understand what it is I am saying, but I think it would be best once the papers are through that we do not speak to each other any more. I know you might not understand, but I can not explain it any better than this. _

_When I said I would marry you, I thought we would be together, I thought we would be living under the same room working in the same place, but now we are not, this was never a part of the deal and I can not live with this, not anymore._

_I'm so sorry to end it like this, but speaking to your mother made me realize I need to follow my heart, not my head, I know I could spend my life waiting for you, but I also know in my heart I would not love you half as much if I had to wait to be your wife properly. I'm so sorry Michael but that is the way it has to be._

_I love you so much Michael, but when the papers come through please just sign them and return them. I hate to say it in a letter. But I want a divorce. Maybe one day you'll stop hating me. Maybe one day you'll understand, but for now, please so as I ask, and move on with your life._

_Thank you for your love and friendship over the years, I would have had it no other way, apart from your leaving. Had you stayed maybe it would have worked between us._

_Until your return,_

_Love Neela._

888

"I'm finished." She said finally, her voice sober, serious, as if she was in need of approval. Ray looked up from where he had been sat leaning against the sofa strumming some chords for a new song he had been writing.

"Can I see it?" He asked, placing his guitar down carefully.

"Of course, tell me what you think." She handed him the letter, as he read it, her face could only be describe of that of a broken woman, torn between two people, having made her decision.

When he had finished he looked up to Neela curled up on the sofa, stood slowly and placed himself next to her. "I think it's perfect. It's to the point and conveys exactly what it is you're thinking. And without shadow of a doubt, you should send it."

**Ha! I have just discovered that hates my line breaks XD So they probably seem really confusing, I'm gunna go through and change that all now.**


	4. Shock to the System

**This story will be brought to a close next chapter. I hope you like it, I'm not to sure about it myself. Again beta'ed by LostInFictionLIF god bless her, and that's about it. I hope it doesn't disappoint, the next chapter will be set as an epilogue about a year or so in the future.**

**Chapter Three**

Neela stood at the post box, letter in hand, Ray by her side. She didn't understand why but she felt better that he was with her to post this. This was her breaking up with her husband for the man she had been in love with from the beginning. She was now being truthful to herself after so many years.

_You can do this Neela._ She urged herself into throwing that letter though the small gap. Raising it slowly she pushed it into the red box, letting go. IT was done.

It all felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Everything was going to be alright.

888

Neela ran smiling broadly out of the lift on seeing Ray she automatically ran up to him and hugged him, much to the shock of Chuny and Sam who were in the Trauma Room.

"I got it!" She squealed, but Ray didn't seem to share her optimism. His face was solemn, something had to be wrong. Very wrong, normally if Ray was in a bad mood the sight of Neela could cheer him up. But this was something else.

"Neela, I have something to tell you…"

"What no well done Neela? Congratulations? Gees, feel the love in this room." Neela put on a mock hurt trying to lighten his mood, but nothing seemed to be working.

"I'm happy for you, but there's," he struggled to form the words as they moved towards the Admit Desk. "There are some soldiers here to see you." He managed just as her happy expression dropped, she had seen them.

"How can I help you?" She asked, trying not to let her voice waver.

"Are you Dr. Rasgotra?" The soldier asked hesitantly, Neela nodded in response not trusting herself to answer with coherent words. "I'm so sorry to inform you, Dr. Gallant was caught in a roadside bomb explosion when transferring North. I'm sorry Dr. Rasgotra, he didn't survive."

Neela had tuned out from 'I'm sorry'. _I'm sorry? Is that all they can say! _"I can't do this right now, I'm working." And with that she left, grabbing a chart from the rack and heading towards Exam Three.

888

"Neela?" Ray called out; he had come to the roof as a last resort having looked on all the floors of the hospital and in all the toilets, against his better judgment most of the time. "Neela?" He walked around and found her looking out over Lake Michigan. "Neela, I'm so sorry."

"Isn't everybody?" She snapped, immediately regretting it, it wasn't Ray's fault. "I sent him a letter this morning as best you know, telling him I wanted a divorce, and now this. What is this Ray? He died Ray, he died, that's not what I wanted I wanted him to come back to tell me it was alright that he understood, that I could move on. How can I move on, he died! The man I married died!"

Ray couldn't do anything but let her shout at him, sure he felt guilty about this, the time Michael had been blown up by a bomb, his wife was fooling around with her roommate.

"Neela you can't blame yourself for this, you never know it was going to happen." He spoke softly as he stood next to her. Resisting his urges to put his arm around her let her cry into his chest, he felt as though he had done enough as it was.

"Can't I? It's Karma Ray! Karma. I did a bad thing, now it comes back round and tells me so by killing my husband. God, I say it like I wasn't sending him the divorce papers like I was."

"No you can't. You know that better than anybody, shit happens Neela, you can't stop how the world works."

"You know what, I don't have anything anymore! He was it! I have to get to work." She went to walk off when Ray reach out grabbing a soft hold of her elbow. "All I have is this stupid hospital!"

"You know that's not true Neela. You have me, you have Abby, you have you're surgical residency. You've had a loss, we all struggle with it Neela. We help people cope with it everyday. It's part of our job." He wasn't doing a very good job at comforting her, but he could make her realize what she had over what she had lost.

She had lost a husband she hadn't loved, for a man that she did love very much. She had the best friend anyone could ask for, a woman who had managed to put up with a sofa leech for six months. Managed to put up with Neela when she had quit the hospital. She had the job she had always wanted, she was going to become a surgeon, what she really wanted. She had everything she wanted. But she couldn't help but let the guilt get the better of her.

"I know, I know, god I know. But can you understand that even if I was calling our marriage off, I can't help but think that deep down this is his punishment for me? Like he knew all along, like he got himself killed."

"I know, I understand that Neela, but you can't push what you have away okay? You have me and Abby, we want to be here for you, we want to help you." Ray let Neela bury herself in his chest, her small form shuddering with each sob. He wrapped his arms around her protecting her from anything and everything he could. He rested his head on hers, holding her head into his chest, encasing her in his protective field. The field that always made him feel better. He prayed to a god he didn't believe in that it did too.

888

"Sweetie are you okay?" Abby asked sympathetically.

"I'm fine; I just wish everybody would stop asking me, I'm fine. Michael was never here. I don't even remember what he looked like. I was married to an idea, an image in my head, what sort of a marriage is that, what sort of a relationship is that? What is there to miss?"

"I don't really have a come back for that." Abby smiled, pulling her friend into a hug, well as much as a hug as a 6 month pregnant woman could give.

"I'll be fine honestly; Ray's giving me all the time I need, and its all going to be okay, I know it is." Neela smiled a weak smile at her friend as they exited the Doctor's Lounge, they headed out to the Ambulance Bay, before walking off to the Coffee Stand to buy some really coffee instead of Morris' crap.

"I'm glad you two have worked things out you know, not skirting around each other anymore, do you know how infuriating it was?" Abby said hugging her cup as if it were the answer to all problems.

"Me too, I just wish we had thought about it all sooner, then maybe today wouldn't be so god damn hard. I mean I loved Michael, he was my first proper boyfriend, really. But Ray, there's something different with him, it doesn't matter how bad things get, he just needs to hug me and tell me everything will be okay, and I know that it will. Yes this time around it's going to take longer to heel than anything else, but just because of one hug he gave me on the roof, I know we'll make it through this. I know we will." Neela took a swig of her piping hot coffee before turning back to the hospital. "He made me realize that although I have lost a part of me, I still have a lot, that I won't lose."

"How long are you going to wait to make it official between you?" Abby couldn't help but wonder, she couldn't help but ask.

"I don't know, I mean we've got to consider the fact Michael has died in action, people are gunna be a little sensitive about it, but I think most people think something's going on anyway."

"You mean most people know something is going on, you two are rubbish at hiding things by the way." Abby laughed slightly, she knew deep down Neela wanted to breakdown and cry and just let it all out, but she also knew that Neela wouldn't show her feelings up front, she knew she would hide things, and only breakdown when she was on her own.

888

Neela entered her home and threw her keys at the side table, she knew Ray wouldn't be home for at least another hour. So she reached into the box of Michael's belongings she had been given for a tape with her name written on it.

She put it into the video player and watched at Michael's worn form appeared before her, she let out a laugh as one of his colleagues ran up to the screen taking the Mickey out of him. She continued to watch in spite of herself. She watched as he told her about how much he loved her, but the final piece of information, that she should marry again, and move on with her life that's what hit her in the face like a wet fish.

Tears had already started to fall, but to hear him tell her to move on when she already had made the bucket loads fall. She was sat on the couch the black and white dot battle in front of her, her hands covering her wet face as she let it all out. She had cried earlier but not like this. This was new to her, a new state of vulnerability.

Huddled on the sofa for a few more minutes her tears ceased to fall, she still choked out her sobs, but she had nothing left to cry. She thought if the time ever came it would be harder than this. It wouldn't be this easy to forget him. The only time she could remember his face is if she actively sought out a photo of him, her memory fading of him so fast.

She had moved into her room, and was now sat on her bed, photos sprawled out around her, but she was no longer looking at them. She was staring at a spot of the wall, if she had some sort of laser vision the spot would be burned to a cinder. Her legs up to her chest, arms wrapped protectively around them, her cheeks were still damp, never drying from the quick burst of tears she had cried. Her breathing dangerously calm, and slow, she continued to stare.

888

Ray entered the dark apartment, the white and black dot war still fighting on the television screen. "Neela?" He called out looking around the open plan kitchen/living area, she wasn't on the sofa so he pressed the off switch and the war disappeared. He checked the bathroom as he walked past it, before coming to Neela's open door.

Her room was pitch black, but he could see her figure against her white bed sheets. "Neela?" he said again, but she did not stir from the position she was in. He wondered if she was ignoring him, but making his way to her bedside, he saw all the splayed pictures, he flicked her low-lit bed side light on, to see that the curled figure was firmly asleep.

He smiled sadly as he leant over and kissed her forehead. Gathering the photos up silently he placed them in a neat pile on her bedside cabinet. Pulling the duvet over her slightly more he smiled once more, and turned the light off.

Leaving her room silently he shut the door behind him, she needed her sleep and maybe in the morning she would open up to him, maybe she would shut it all out, but for now, she was grieving, and he knew he had to let her to that.

**As always Reviews are love, and I like to know what I could do better. Also I realize that this story is awfully similar to my other Not So Lost in America, don't worrying, ironing that out now ******** It will be very very different.**


	5. Epilogue

**This is it, my second ever completed multi-chapter fanfiction, be proud of me! I'm proud of myself. Again I don't own the song, Disney do as far as I know ******

**Epilogue**

One year, two months, and thirteen days after Ray had tucked Neela in, he stood under a rose threaded arch in Millennium Park, in an all black suit, much like he had worn to Abby and Luka wedding not three months ago. He had had his hair cut a month ago, but it was back how it used to be, long and spiky and messy, just how Neela liked it. He stood with Brett at his side, and Luka behind them, in the front row with Joe, and a spare seat next to them for Abby.

After dropping Ray from the band, they hadn't spoken to a while, but as soon as Brett had heard Ray and Neela was an on thing, he made his way back in to say 'I told you so' and stayed in touch with Ray ever since. And Dr Neela.

Ray's nervous expression soon wiped when he saw Abby appeared at the end of the makeshift aisle. Smiling broadly, and turning to the female coming up to her right, she gave her the bouquet, and proceeded to gather up the back of her long white flowing dress.

888

"_I'm getting married." Neela laughed breathlessly looking at her reflection in the mirror. Abby approached with a wide grin plastered on her face. _

"_And I thought you and Ray would spend the next 5 years skirting around that stage, seems he's got more balls than I thought he did."_

"_Oh he's got a whole lot of ball." Neela laughed, watching her friend expression change from laughter to that of a calm collect._

"_That, the soon to be Dr. Barnett, was way too much information for my innocent mind." Neela turned back round, seeing Abby over her shoulder, they both admired the view both them in their reflections. "Perfect." Abby muttered before picking up the white lily bouquet, the anther having been taken off to prevent the pollen yellowing Neela's pure white dress at any moment in the day._

"_Ready?"_

888

Once Neela's eye met Ray across the park, they never left them. Both staring at each other, lovingly, and not wanting the moment evr to end. But if it never ended they would never reach the vows, and that was the important bit.

"Dude, Dr. Neela looks hot!" Brett whispered to his friend, who just smiled wider, a small laugh escaping his lips.

Neela walked down to the tradition, if slightly punk-ed up music, Brett's idea, which Ray and Neela had both gladly said yes too. It would be their wedding without some sort of dysfunctional music, a representation of something that brought them together.

Once Neela reached Ray side, Abby took her place next to Luka, taking Joe from him so Luka could film the remainder of the wedding taking the camera from Morris who had had the perfect view on the aisle. Taking a hold of each others hands, Ray mouthed 'I love you' at Neela, which she smiled and mouth in return.

"Dearly beloved…" the vicar began, he continued to speak the usual vicar talk, as the soon to be newly weds just stared at each other. Wide grins mirrored on either face, it really was a perfect picture. The perfect picture that stood on their bedside now.

"Do you, Neela Anjali Rasgotra, take Raymond James Barnett to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the vicar asked in his usually monotonous voice.

"I do." She spoke without hesitation, only causing Ray to smile more, a glint in his eye not even Neela had seen before.

"And do you Raymond James Barnett, Take Neela Anjali Rasgotra to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do." His voice sounded huskier than usual. Bitten with emotion, pure happiness.

"Then I pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride."

And as if hesitant, Ray raised his hand slowly to his wife's face, lowering his head to meet hers, she tilted her head up to him to make his life easier, and she was already wearing three inch heels. What started as a slow, loving kiss, soon turned into one full of passion. Lips baring touching to begin with, and stopping with two breathless married people.

Abby started cheering, to which the rest of the gathering continued. Abby yelling a "Finally!" and laughing as the people around her did. Neela leant into Ray, looking over at Abby, as Ray looked over his shoulder, both smiling so broadly.

888

"Personally, I was still counting down the day until Ray would propose, I still had about 100 more to go when Neela came running up to me one morning, nothing but happy." Abby looked at her friend at the memory. "And I know the Maid of Honour doesn't normally give a speech, but Brett forgot, but he's been busy doing some practicing for us." She turned and looked to where the band was set up, and nodded. "And I'll think they'll agree with the choice of first song I changed theirs too. Haleh, Morris." She smiled as they stood and made their way to the stage. The Music started and they couple of the day's focus automatically recognized it and started laughing.

"Trust you Abby!" Ray shouted over the guitar and piano that was playing.

_In a perfect world  
One we've never known  
We would never need to face the world alone_

Haleh started to sing as Ray and Neela rose from their seats to dance. Swaying slowly to the music they remembered the night they had sung along to this, the night they had finally done something about their growing feelings for each other.

_They can have the world  
We'll create our own  
I may not be brave or strong or smart  
But some where in my secret heart_

I know, Love will find a way  
Any where we go, I'm home  
If you are there beside me

Like dark turning into day  
Some how we'll come through  
Now that I've found you  
Love will find a way

Morris started to sing as Ray had all those months ago, and the couple continued to dance, happily than they had even been.

_I was so afraid  
Now I realize  
Love is never wrong  
And so it never dies_

There's a perfect world  
Shining in your eyes

Haleh rejoined the singing to complement Morris as the song came to an end. Ray and Neela sharing another long tender kiss as it came to a close.

_And if only they could feel it too  
The happiness I feel with you_

They'd know  
Love will find a way  
Any where we go   
we're home  
If we are there together

Like dark turning into day  
Some how we'll come through  
Now that I've found you   
Love will find a way

I know love will find a way

**I hope you liked it as much as I enjoyed writing this fic. Such a predictably cliché ending, but I couldn't help myself!**


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